Da·men·tol·o·gy [dah-men-tol-uh-jee] noun - the study of the soul, the mind, the relationships, the experiences, the life and the funny side of DAMEN.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A LETTER FROM MY GIRLFRIEND

A PANACEA FOR A TROUBLED HEART:


As I ponder in the lit room with an ashtray, a cup of coffee and a cigarette beside me, lots of things are jumbled in my mind. My writing will tell you, I am confused and troubled. I am not confused about my feelings and plans toward this man but I am confused whether he loves me as much as I love him. Because of that I feel troubled. I feel troubled because that confusion is consuming me in the way that my heart tells me that he loves me but my mind is playing its game on me. It accommodates speculations, theories of what-love-should-be, doubts, fear, judgments and what-ifs. I want somebody to tell me that I am paranoid. Oh, I want him to tell me over and over again that I don't need to worry because he is mine.

Arggghhhh.... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to think anymore. I just hope that things will get better. I hope that GOD will make me stronger and will bring back the old confident me. I wish that GOD still listen to my prayers and make Damen and me stronger. I pray that Damen stretches his patience for me, for I am one difficult person at times. I want to be Mrs. Aniciete someday. I want us to be happy. I want my insecurities to go away so I could let his jokes pass without being too sensitive.
So many things have been mentioned here, in short, what do I really want? I want him and be happy with him. He said he loves me too. So what is the problem? Nothing. So what is my panacea for my troubled heart? Lambing... hugs and kisses. Attention, words and deeds of his assuring love for me.