Da·men·tol·o·gy [dah-men-tol-uh-jee] noun - the study of the soul, the mind, the relationships, the experiences, the life and the funny side of DAMEN.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

WORST PICK UP LINES EVER

Knowing that the attraction between you and that cute person is mutual… trying trendy new restaurants… getting that rush from smooching someone for the first time—these are just a few of the perks to the single life. But, alas, there is a downside to being relationship-free: The torture of being subjected to stale, decades-old, pick-up lines is penance for all that fun.

In a survey taken across a range of age groups, geographical borders and lifestyles, we have compiled the top 10 worst pick-up lines that have sullied the ears of singles everywhere. Read on, and see how many of these have been lobbed in your direction.


1. “What’s your sign?”
The epitome of cheese, this line, which has been around since the Beatles came to America, ranks as the very worst line in dating history.

2. “Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”
Maybe this was funny around 1910 or 1915—back when the telephone was a novel appliance. It does not inspire smiles now, only scared and doomed looks.

3. “You must be a broom because you’re sweeping me off my feet.”
Maybe your dad used this one on your mom and for nostalgia’s sake, you’re bringing it out again. Nostalgia does not get you dates, only pity.

4. “Do you have a license? Because you’re driving me crazy.”
Caution! Watching too many stupid teen movies impairs your judgment. This probably sounded clever to the person who swiped it from an Annette and Frankie beach party flick.

5. “I gotta thirst and baby, you look like my Gatorade.”
Generally, comparing potential dates to food or drinks is not a winning move.

6. “Are you lost? Because heaven’s a long way from here.”
Maybe angels like this one, but real women don’t.

7. “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
Prayer is something that anyone who uses this tacky line desperately needs.

8. “Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.”
This line is popular with both men and women who think references to Santa are cute and charming, which are qualities that they never possess personally.

9. “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
I know it’s an old one but it took guts to say it.

10. “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
A personal favorite, this one takes a certain amount of arrogance, as well as delusion, to pull off.

Monday, September 17, 2007

WHEN U ARE INLUV WITH URSELF

Yesterday before my gf left, she said "I love you so much.”

I replied..... “Yeah, I also love myself so much.”


She called me an egotist and refused to stop when I tried to stop her from walking away. Either she was upset or she's going to be late for work.

Good, my gf has finally realized the truth. I wonder why it took her so long to understand that I love myself. Chances are, she did not notice all those love bites on my mirror image.

I don’t want to be bragging here, but I think if only I were a little more modest… I would be the perfect human being that ever walked this Earth. I just need to be a little more modest… that is all.

I found out that I was perfect the day I played Tony "The Engineer" in a school play...uhm "New Yorker In Tondo"...that's the play. After I got off the stage, the audience went loud, crazy and unruly. I had to get back on the stage and request them to be calm. At this juncture, one of my classmates walked up to me and said: “You were amazing. I don’t have words to describe you.”

I said: “Try harder.”


He didn’t yield to my prompt and we spent the next ten minutes discussing the last few days of my schooling and what my future plans were. When I got bored I told him: “Enough of me….let us now talk about you.”

I could see he was happy.

“What do YOU think of me?” I asked him…but he stared right through me and went on his way.
If you don’t love yourself… I pity you. I wonder if you will ever be able to love anybody from the bottom of your heart.


A friend of mine has fallen in love with himself and is looking forward to a life-long romance. As if that was not enough, another friend wants to die in his own arms.

Now, what do you call that?