I THOUGHT I WAS A SCIENTIST

My life has been full of quirks, whims, idiosyncrasies, eccentricity and oddity (It helps to know the usages of Thesaurus.. huh?). Here's another thing about me that you do not know:

I THOUGHT I WAS A SCIENTIST:

My love for science made me think I was destined to be a scientist. I know it is hard to believe but once I had my own laboratory. It had different kinds rock, plastics, glass pieces, leaves and what not. I would even embark on one of those walks of self-discovery because I was told that’s what scientists did. Stay aloof.

When I was 13, I remember taking two aluminum wires and inserting one end of both in the two holes of a electrical socket and immersing the other two ends in a steel jar filled with water. The idea was to heat the water. The experiment ended with a blast when the main fuse of my grandparents' house went off for a couple of minutes.

WHEN U ARE INLUV WITH URSELF

Yesterday before my gf left, she said "I love you so much.”

I replied..... “Yeah, I also love myself so much.”

She called me an egotist and refused to stop when I tried to stop her from walking away. Either she was upset or she's going to be late for work.

Good, my gf has finally realized the truth. I wonder why it took her so long to understand that I love myself. Chances are, she did not notice all those love bites on my mirror image.

I don’t want to be bragging here, but I think if only I were a little more modest… I would be the perfect human being that ever walked this Earth. I just need to be a little more modest… that is all.

I found out that I was perfect the day I played Tony "The Engineer" in a school play...uhm "New Yorker In Tondo"...that's the play. After I got off the stage, the audience went loud, crazy and unruly. I had to get back on the stage and request them to be calm. At this juncture, one of my classmates walked up to me and said: “You were amazing. I don’t have words to describe you.”

I said: “Try harder.”

He didn’t yield to my prompt and we spent the next ten minutes discussing the last few days of my schooling and what my future plans were. When I got bored I told him: “Enough of me….let us now talk about you.”

I could see he was happy.

“What do YOU think of me?” I asked him…but he stared right through me and went on his way.
If you don’t love yourself… I pity you. I wonder if you will ever be able to love anybody from the bottom of your heart.

A friend of mine has fallen in love with himself and is looking forward to a life-long romance. As if that was not enough, another friend wants to die in his own arms.

Now, what do you call that?

I EAT ANYTHING EDIBLE

My life has been full of quirks, idiosyncrasies, whims, eccentricity and oddity (It helps to know the usages of Thesaurus.. huh?). Here are the things about me that U don't know:

I EAT ANYTHING EDIBLE:

When I was in highschool, I've attended a survival training that was held in a swamp in Pampanga. We stayed there for 3 days without food, water and light. There, I learned how to catch and was forced to eat frogs, snails, dagang bukid, balang, bayawak, sawa and diff kinds of leaves, including mango leaves.

MY PREFERENCES IN LIFE

I was just wondering what my preferences in life were. Do I have any opinions? Do I have any tastes? Do I have stands? Surprisingly, I have none.

This rules me out of the race for "D' Man of the Year". Pacquiao wins, hands down. How could somebody with no tastes, opinions and stands in life ever become popular?

I have no favorite food…though when I was a kid I used to like dunking my hot pandesal on a hot Carabao's milk. I have no favorite cars, and that’s why I have never bought one till now. I have no favorite foreign country and that is why I never been out of the Philippines. I don’t have a favorite place to stop and smoke, thus end up smoking at all places.

As for opinions, I don’t care who rules the world. I think it is Dick Cheney now. Or is he dead?!

When Bush and Kerry were running from pillar to post trying to seduce people, I never got seduced. I stood still…for I did not care who the President of US was.

Everybody has an opinion on everybody…but somehow I don’t. Perhaps, that is why I don’t like you.

And as for my stands…I have none. Even removed the one on my mountain bike back in highschool, and have to lean it against a wall or a tree.

“Would you want to come for a drink tonight...?” A normal man’s response would be ...where, when, how... but for me it is a simple: “Yeah sure.”

When Super EX-GF asks me to empty the dustbin, I have no stand... I just go and empty it.

But the thing is I am happy. Except for the fact that I need some money, and need a vacation, need some friends, need some good colleagues and need some good food. Otherwise, I am happy.

Does the fact that, I have no tastes, opinions or stands make me a robot? I guess, I should not be writing all this here ...coz if people from Microsoft, Redmond notice this, they might buy me off from SYKES for research on Artificial Intelligence. Pity, they would be disappointed at not finding intelligence.

But after reading this far…do you think Microsoft officials would be disappointed at not finding intelligence? I don’t think so.

10 THINGS I WANT TO DO

This is a borrowed idea. A colleague and a friend mentioned that I should write about the 10 things I want to do before I breathe my last. And here we go –

1) I want to skydive with my dream girl, and when there are a few kilometers to go, I want to close my eyes and kiss her. A free-wheelie. I know she's reading this right now.

2) I want to walk into a Bahay Ampunan, sort out the saddest kid and fulfill one of his/her wishes. Parang pang Miss Philippines hehehe.

3) I want to walk into a jewel-shop with my mom and dad beside me, and buy them the most expensive necklace and bracelet available. Nay..Tay, wag nyong isasangla hah!?

4) I want to have my own Billboard sa EDSA, endorsing a good brand or product. Wag lang gamot sa hadhad, alimpunga or buni.

5) I want to drive from Claveria to Zamboanga on my muscle car. Sana mabili ko ang Chevelle Malibu ng kapitbahay ko.

6) I want to meet the first love of my life (if I can call her that) and see how many kids she is a mother of and how fat she is LOLz. Would be a funny sight.

7) I want to meet Mr. Walter Navarro. My English Professor, my Mentor, a Friend. He is Jack Dumas...the original RAINMAN.

8) I want to spend a weekend with the other members of the Southern Boys and do all the wacky things we did back in college. Mark, Jon, Mon, Jimmy at Don-don miss ko na kayo mga pre.

9) I want to be the one to accompany my son/daughter on his/her first day in school. Sana sa Xavier or ICA hehehe.

10) I want to take my future wife's parents on a Las Haciendas De Aniciete tour and prove that their daughter landed a good catch. I hope they're your parents ;)

I AM A RAIN MAN

I am not a superman, but a RAIN MAN. In short, I just confessed that I love the rainy days. Don’t know if it has to do with Robin Padilla and Regine Velasquez, who formed a marked impression on me when they walked under the rain to the tune of "Tuwing Umuulan..at Kapiling Ka".

I love it when it rain...the cold wind....I know what the evil mind of yours is thinking. But to cut the long story short…I love rain. You are probably saying, finally there is something that this psycho loves beside himself.

My love for rain has nothing to do with all that cafe mocha that is created on a Batasan road after the rain. OK…if you are not as imaginative…you probably never realized it. Next time you see all that brown muddy water on the road…imagine it to be cafe mocha. After a car or a van passes by, for sometime the muddy water will resemble a chocolate milk-shake.

Over the years, my affinity towards rain has been motivated - for different reasons. When I was in 3rd Grade in SABBES…the school would submerge (not fully but at least a foot deep) after an hour rain. This meant no class for two days….now don’t blame me for loving rain.

As I grew my reasons changed. When I'm in Hi-School, I loved going to school on rainy days….because half the class wouldn’t have turned up and the teachers dare not teach. Some of the teachers would be absent. I still remember a sleeping teacher sitting in front even as we spent the 45 minute periods talking our way to glory.

When in college, it provided us with an excellent excuse to come late or bunk classes. In Espana, traffic depends on seasons. There are two seasons - the seasons to DRIVE (Summer) and the season to DIVE (Rainy).

When it rained we would all go to the nearby waiting shed and stand gaping at the girls from the nearby FEU, CEU and Baste.

Girls, trying to avoid the muddy and greasy waters on the road are a pretty site. They are poetry. Reams and reams can be written on the expression one can see on their faces. Next time it rains, go to a muddy, water-logged road. Look out for a 16-22 year old girl walk through/around the water (remember, age is important here. )…you will know what I mean.

NOW...I juz love rain for the fringe benefits. It's nice to stay at home, watch TV at MAGYOSI...tnx to the RAIN.

WHO IS DAMEN?

I dunno why... I do not belong to a very religious family but how the hell my name... all of them seem to came from the Bible?! It's not that its not good tho... Abraham (from Prophet Abraham), Bautista (from John the Baptist) Aniciete (7 Years... from the Pharaoh's dream of 7 good years and 7 years of famine)... and Damen (from the Demon lol).

Anyways, I've been called with so many names, Abraham, Bong, Yitzhak, Johan-gon, Ambong... To some, I'm just another ordinary, everyday guy. To others, I am the big surprise. I am DAMEN... I'M THE HAND UNDER MONA LISA'S SKIRT.